Past of the Future.

4 friends - Boka, Entira, Yoman and Binness. They have been together throughout ( B.Tech and then MBA from the same colleges, then joined the same firm in the same profile). 

This is a chat between them on a lazy saturday evening at a coffee shop. 

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Boka: In kolkata, there is this really old .. 

Yoman: Forget the old man!! Dude.. look at that chick dude.. I think she is totally checking me out man. 

Entira: uufffff... Delhi chicks are so hot... in my village..u wont find a single hot chick. 

Binness:  Then why dont u just go for it? 

Entira: Cant na.. my dad is already looking for a match. I am talking to this girl ... you know.. she is from the neighboring village.. I used to play wid her sister ... we were in the same skl.

Yoman: Cool maaaannnn... now u r gonna play wid her!! :) Gimme 5 bro!

Entira: You r such a dirty fellow! But.. I may have to reject her.. she had a bf.. she told me.. but i never had a gf na! It would be no problem for someone like u.. u hv tons of gfs.

Boka: Arey! I also had gfs.. more than oaaaaan (1) !! But thik ache.. its ok.. 1 bf .. u can allow. At least she was not a renowned slut of her college.. u knw who i m talkin abt. 

Yoman: I dooooo do do do do dooooooo! Hey.. thanks for setting me up dude!!! Awesome! I still dunno y u had to brk up wid her!!! 

Boka: Shut up! God knows what i will say when sm girl asks me abt my past.

Binness: Simple.. tell them u had 1 gf.. u loved her.. but she betrayed u.. Saaru?  

Yoman: Just 1 would be too less dude!!

Boka: No no.. 1 is ok. 1 is good. Then I wont come across as a geek no?

Binness: And neithr a casanova! Just fine :) 1 is optimum.

Entira: U guys are confusing me! How do I knw this girl isnt doing the same -- the 1 bf story!

Boka: God knows. 

Entira: Cheppu raaa... give me a soln..

Binness: See guys.. I havent told u ppl .. but my family is also looking for a match.. and I have talked to 7-8 girls regarding this.. :) and guess wat.. each one of them had just 1 bf earlier ! :)) moral of the story -- dont blv the 1 bf story. Saaru?

Yoman: If I hv to go down this road.. I will also adopt the 1 gf story !! Very powerful dude! I am crying..

Entira: Denge!! 

Dont feel like writing a title now

Yeah. IIMA is hectic. As if you didnt know already. Lets get to the fucking point.
I have ranted about various things till now.. but not religion, God, bullshit and other stuff in that category.
So, today I will.

I am not a very big fan of Mr. God. But I do not have a problem if you are, as long as you dont intend to blow up the people who dont blv in your favourite Almighty creator. I am neutral about this subject and I dont feel the need to know whether God exists.
But, lets assume that he does, just for fun. And please allow me the liberty to also assume there is only 1 God.. not the 33 crore Gods we Hindus have ( even though u can do with as many hands as you can get if you have to create the whole fucking universe!! ). So what does he do?
Creates the universe!! whoof!! Takes some doing.. that.
Then?
Creates dinosaurs .. i guess.. i dunno.. lets fast forward to the man and woman thing...  God only knows why he would wait so long to create the most intelligent animal of all (according to themselves, if i may add).

Then .. he feels that he should write a book so that we human beings know what to do and how to behave. Good enough. Evidently.. he has not made us intelligent enuf to decide for ourselves.

He starts by bragging a lot about all the things he has created and all the shit that went down before we humans were made..
He also tells us that he is this cool dude.. who promises eternal bliss after death if we live by his code. But wait a minute.
If its eternal.. wouldnt u just get used to it and ultimately bored of it? Who would want that?
Isnt it our nature to crave for things we dont have... aren't the rarest stones also the most precious ones?
I am not so convinced with this promise of eternal bliss.

Also.. he introduces us to this Devil guy.. i am pretty sure.. God and Devil dont really get along.
So God goes out and writes a whole book to bitch about this Devil guy and entices u to join his kingdom.
Cool.
but what does the Devil do?
Nothing!
Yeah.. I wouldnt be surprised if The Devil turns out to be the real cool dude. I mean.. he surely has a lot more going on in his life.
God writes a whole fucking book writing shit abt him. And he doesnt even comment on it.. "Bro.. u go write whatever u want.. I am chillin out wid my babes here in hell."
Now tell me.. who's the cool guy?

Now.. next thing in the book is the eternal agony in Hell, which btw.. is the Devil's playground. He is the Boss of Hell.
How would u get there? If u lie, cheat and do all sorta stuff that the God doesnt want u to do.
Think about it. YOu defy God.. dont follow his code.. show him the middle finger.. WHY oh WHY would the Devil punish you???!!!
You, my dear, are his best friend! You have clearly pissed off God, who is Devil's biggest enemy.. WHY would he give u agony?? Plz tell me!
Doesnt make sense .. does it? Devil will love you.. he will hook u up wid the best hookers and drug dealers in hell.. surely u dont expect such people to go to heaven!
Now, tell me.. where do u wanna go? U wanna follow God's rules and go to a fucking boring place filled with scientists and sadhus and all the boring people..
or do u wanna have a party wid the best rockstars and hookers, smoking pot and doing coke???

I am pretty sure these books are part of a marketing gimmick.. if anything.. God seems to be awfully similar to a certain Mr. Chaudhuri with a ponytail!!!

I will end with George Carlin's quote "YOu tell a man the paint is wet. He has to touch to blv u. But u tell him thr is an invisible person up there who controls the universe and he is convinced!"

Thank you for reading. And if you are offended, fuck off.