jab admi ko kam nahi hota.. tab woh yahi sab sochta hai.

I am (like most of u ) a confused soul. My biggest confusion is that I dont know what I want from life ( money & sex u idiot !!!.... naah.. i want more!). People say all they want is to be happy . I dont think that is too big a deal for me since I am mostly quite happy n cheerful. But it is not that I have had only good experiences in my life. Infact I have had some terrible ones (dont ask me to enumerate them). But I guess it is not always about having the best of everything. Sometimes, u need to make the best of what you have.

Over the years, I have learnt to take life as it comes. Life has taught me to compromise and move on. There are certain things in life that I cannot control. I just try to do my best in the rest. This has worked pretty well for me. I may not have achieved everything, but I have done good for myself. I am happy and content with what I have on that front. So what is it that I want?

Sometimes, I think that I want peace. I just wanna relax and spend my time with alcohol, football, movies, music and some gal. But in times like this, when I have absolutely nothing to do.. I get bored and despartely look for some engagement.. something constuctive. So lazying around is definitely not what I want from life. I wanna do something.. but what???

Maybe, I wanna give something back to the society. Let me say 1 thing clearly - I and all u are really really privileged to have whatever we have today. I find it funny when people say that they are tensed about some useless test they need to take or some useless ppt they need to give. I do not know why people cry (sometimes literally!) bacuse of a bad test. I think it is because u are so privileged that u can spend so much time and energy wondering what would happen if u scored below 80 (or 90) in some test. There are so many people in the world who go to bed wondering whether they can feed their children the next day. That is pressure. May be I want to do something for them.. maybe I want to help them in some miniscule way.... which will never change anything ....but maybe I will get some satisfaction or maybe I will find an aim for my life. But all this is too distant ...rite now I need to make an useless ppt for the conclusion of my training as a software engg. So this social work thing is not my primary aim.. at least judging by what I am doing now.. its not.

This sort of leaves just one option... I dont wanna find out an aim for my life. I am casual by nature.... I guess u knw tht too. Maybe I am just too lazy to pursue a goal! At the end of the day, I consider the greatest luxury is to have the ability to do whatever u want whenever u want. But, having a goal probably doesnt allow u to do whatever u want! Then u become a slave of that goal. Or do u?? GOD knows!

Besides, logic is really boring. If everything followed perfect logic, then the world would have been so predictable and so boring... things would have been so routine! It is because of stupid emotions.. that we make mistakes and that brings the element of unknown and unpredictability in the world. It is our stupidity which has made the world so exciting. So I guess not knowing what I want to do will allow me to do lots of stuff !

I know what I have said above is mostly meaningless.. random.. no connection between 1 thought and another.. but thats how I am sweetheart!! Possibly, this is why I never do anything and spend my time doing useless stuff like writing blogs!

Let alone doing something consturctive.. most of the time I cant even think constructively.... its always some hottie who messes up my thots! fuck u hotties!!! (I wish !)